Why “Unmoored Sister?”
Firstly, my sister loved the ocean. If she couldn’t have the waves crashing against the shore, she would accept any other body of water, but she loved the ocean.
Secondly, a lot of metaphors and explanations of grief rely on water, especially the ocean. Storms, shipwrecks, tides, waves, ebbs, flows — it’s all about water.
Thirdly, every since her death, it is like I have been detached from a stabilizing force and set adrift. The narrative I knew about my life was scrapped, and the new one isn’t drafted yet. I truly am unmoored in her absence.
What’s the meaning of the header photo?
Well, in addition to being a photo of the coast and therefore related to the title, it’s a photo my sister took at the beach in our home state.
There are actually many little nods to her in a lot of the elements of this website. For example, my profile photo is one she took of me while we were traveling together.
What do you get out of this?
What I get out of this is a space to unabashedly speak about what happened and is happening to me as I navigate through this frankly shitty experience. I hope that, in time, it will also give me the gratification of knowing my words reached others and, ideally, helped them in some way. Whether that is to give comfort or to make them feel seen or something I haven’t even imagined. Maybe someone will be better able to show up for a person in their life who is going through grief as a result of understanding it through my lens. Maybe someone will walk away thinking, “Damn, that’s worse than my problems, at least.”
This website is not monetized. If that ever changes, I will be very transparent about that. If you are moved to help support my out-of-pocket costs, though, you can do so here.
Unmoored Sister 