This pain is not like the others
Because this pain is mine
I sit with it
I feed it my regrets and rumination
I wake up with it snuggled around my chest
It sits in the corner and watches my moments of joy
This pain knows me intimately
and strikes when I’m at my most vulnerable
It reminds me every moment is fragile
And it makes me doubt my choices
It can reach my heart, my mind, my DNA itself
Any place there are traces of you
It patiently bides its time
And whispers, “your sister is dead.”
Please forgive me when I cry,
It’s not you that brings the tears
It’s the pain—it robs me of the ability to remember you in joy
For now, but not forever
I promise.
Unmoored Sister 